


squip go rawr

by PtCrUiSeR



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Be More Chill - Ned Vizinni, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Crack Fic, Evan you can't say that, I don't ship boyf/reind, I just don't see it, I'm Sorry, No. Just no, because I have none, before I ruin them, don't question my sanity, hoo boy, is that how you say that?, please don't skin me alive, please take these fandoms from my cold dead hands, say no to this, this is what I do in my free time, we're in it good this time folks, why do I do things like this, with shit like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:01:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27422389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PtCrUiSeR/pseuds/PtCrUiSeR
Summary: Just a crackfic. Nothing too special. Now move along you little rascals!
Kudos: 2





	squip go rawr

**Author's Note:**

> So, regarding my other fic, I have hit writer's block on that. (don't throw me out the window) so instead, I wrote this. This has actually been on the back of my mind for a while now, so here it is. I don't think 'enjoy' is the right word to use here, but oh well. Enjoy!

Our story begins in the birthplace of crack for the boys, Michael's basement. No parents, which is the perfect recipe for crack. Yes, indeed.

It was a typical hangout session for the boys, spending some quality time together. But this night was unusual, for multiple reasons. One, there was weed involved. Well, I guess that's not _really _unusual because this wasn't Michael, Jeremy, and Jared's first time getting high. No no. This was our little angel Evan's first time getting smacked by the smoke.__

__Evan had finally agreed to join in on the pastime, much to his friend's joy. What he _hadn't _agreed on was getting this high. He felt like he was floating 69ft. in the air. He didn't know why it had to be 69, but who cares. Why hadn't he done this before?___ _

____The boys didn't know what they were getting themselves into. The smell of weed being overtaken by the smell of more weed. They finished off the joint, leaving a disappointed Evan and 4 very high boys. In a fucking basement. Could life be any better? They sat in content silence for a moment, when Evan suddenly erupted._ _ _ _

____"SQUIP GO RAWR!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. Jeremy and Jared burst into laughter. Michael only sighed. _Newbie. _he thought. Michael had formed his response.___ _ _ _

______"SQUIP GO HEE HAW!" he screeched, mentally dying inside. More cackles from the two J's. Evan's face contorted into something along the lines of confusion. He smiled lazily, obviously the highest one in the room. He raised his head towards the ceiling._ _ _ _ _ _

______"SQUIP GO REE-REE ON MY PEE-PEE!" Evan screamed. Jeremy lost it. He doubled over with laughter. "I-I gotta go! Jesus you guys are fucking hilarious!" He wiped a tear from his eye, before stumbling up the stairs, most likely to the bathroom to compose himself._ _ _ _ _ _

______Jared had fallen off of his beanbag, now lying on the floor. You would probably think he was dead if his body wasn't convulsing with the laughs._ _ _ _ _ _

______"If you wanted the Squip to fuck you that badly man, you coulda just asked," Michael said casually._ _ _ _ _ _

______Jared snickered. "Or you coulda just done it. Probably woulda enjoyed every second of that. Imagine that, hot sex between Evan and a supercomputer."_ _ _ _ _ _

______It was Michael's turn to laugh, imagining the Keanu Reeves lookalike having intercourse with Evan in his bedroom. Oh god, he was too high._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I don't think it would be that bad. He would shove it in me, I would go 'ohhhh yes pleasss' and he would go 'yes baby boy, anything for you ohhhh'." Evan was thrusting his hips forward while saying this, most likely not realizing the insanity of what was coming out of his mouth._ _ _ _ _ _

______Jared and Michael shared a look. God damn, they needed to stop. Someone cleared their throat at the top of the stairs. Evan, who was still thrusting his hips, turned to look at Jeremy's frozen figure._ _ _ _ _ _

______"What the _hell _did I just walk into?"___ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> How are you still alive?


End file.
